My One Vanity

I am horrible at keeping this list. I know that I missed some because it has been so long since I posted. Well at least I have been trying to keep busy.

#28 George, Elizabeth, Careless in red : a novel
#29 JD Robb, Holiday In Death
#30 Cormac McCarthy, No Country for Old Men
#31 Margaret Atwood, The Handmaid’s Tale
#32 Kathy Reichs, Devil Bones
#33Stephen King, Insomnia
#34 John Grisham, The Street Lawyer
#35 Philip K Dick, Galactic Pot Healer
#36 Kathy Reichs,Deadly Decisions
#37 Jane Austen, Emma
#38 Philip K Dick, Counter Clock World
#39 Ben Bova, Future Crime

The end of another year. Damn. I have a few things brewing for the new year. The first thing is that I absolutely must do something about the stressful job I have. Not exactly the best time to be changing jobs, perhaps. But I am becoming a wino, for fuck's sake! Not good.

Another thing, I need to get out more. I am too much of a homebody.

It's been a while. I keep saying that.


#20 The Gift of Rain - Tan Twan Eng
#21 The Prophet - Kahlil Gibran
#22 Pygmy - Chuck Palahniuk
#23 A Gentleman's Guide to Graceful Living - Michael Dahlie
#24 The Other Side of Silence - Bill Pronzini
#25 Salvation in Death - J D Robb
#26 The Boleyn Inheritance - Philippa Gregory
#27 Santa Olivia - Jacqueline Carey


I finished a cute ABC blanket for my nephew's little baby boy. And I am currently working on a shawl for a friend's birthday.

No, not that kind of quickie - darnit!! :P

More books:

#18 Haunted - Chuck Palahniuk
#19 Points of View - edited by James Moffett & Kenneth McElheny

I haven't been "single" or "unattached" for over 15 years. And though technically my ex & I broke up over 2 1/2 years ago, it wasn't until very recently that I really accepted that we were not together and that I needed to move on with my life.

I have been on a "dating site" (one of the free ones) and have met a few men. I really don't like my experience so far...not that they were horrible, per se. I don't think this is a good way to meet people--at least for me. Too much time and energy is needed just to see if there is ONE person you might want to get to know.

I am not sure how I will proceed from here. I do miss having a relationship. But I feel weird going online and looking for men...kind of desperate. And I really am not. I won't be with just anybody in order to have someone.

Anyways, I guess I should post a book update:

#16 Science Fiction Adventures in Mutation - edited by Groff Conklin
#17 A Deadly Game - Catherine Crier

Family Guy is so funny! OMG

I recently started using Henna for my hair. I have a few gray hairs, mostly in the back and underneath, they are not really very noticable but I know that it is just a matter of time before the grays are visible. Since I don't like a lot of chemicals and I like my hair-it is healthy and long. Henna is perfect! It adds a light sheen of red tint and the grays are red. It makes my hair so soft and it feels so nice.

And now for another Book Update

#14 Engaged To Murder - Loretta Schwartz-Nobel
#15 The Broken Window - Jeffery Deaver

Well my laptop recently took a shit so I had to buy a new one. And now I can't get Quickbooks to work! I am so freaking irritated. I used to love troubleshooting and figuring out computer problems. But now I just want the damn thing to work!

On another note, here is a book update:

#11 Just An Ordinary Day - Shirley Jackson
#12 Direct Descent - Frank Herbert
#13 12 Great Classics of Science Fiction - edited by Groff Conklin

I have been crocheting but been too lazy/busy/apathetic to take pictures. I got some good stuff too.

I need to get off my butt.

I think.

#8 Tale of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
#9 First Step Outward - edited by Robert Hoskins
#10 Soul Catcher - Frank Herbert

Damn I have been doing so good with my weight loss goals. But this week for some weird reason I have been eating like a PIG and I haven't worked out once! I don't know WTF is wrong with me, I went into serious depression mode and I think it is at least partially because my period is going to start in a day or two.

Shit. OK now is not the time to just say fuck it. I HAVE to get back on track. I have been feeling so good about myself lately, and then out of the blue--WHAM.

Hopefully tomorrow will be the day I get back on track. I am going to go hiking with my kids. I think we will try the Ocean View Trail. A moderate 3 mile hiks should get the blood flowing!

OK book update is not going so good... I will have to do this from memory damnit.

#4 Wideacre - Philippa Gregory
#5 Just After Sunset - Stephen King
#6 Neuromancer - William Gibson
#7 The Red Tent - Anita Diamant

Weird story: My boss's wife is also an avid reader. She has lent me several books and although they are not really ones I would have chosen, I give them a chance because I am always open to new reading experiences.

So I lent her one. Kushiel's Dart. For those who don't know the series, it is centered around a "courtesan" who's specialty is S&M, specifically she is the M. The story has a very intricate plot involving political intrigue. The Night Court (the "bordellos") are based on "love as thou wilt"

Now at the same time she lends me the book "Wideacre". Again, for those who don't know the book, it is about a woman so determined to stay in her family home that she seduces her BROTHER and has an affair that produces 2 children that she pawns off on others in order to cover it up, and indulges his depraved fantasies to get her way. I didn't find the character sympathetic AT ALL, and really thought the book was mediocre.

So she calls me a week or so after I gave her Kushiel's Dart. She says that she has had a really hard time dealing with the theme of the book and can't get past the prostitution part of it (and I think the fact that the main character enjoys her work) and she can't finish it.

OOOOOOkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk..... if she hadn't lent me Wideacre, it wouldn't seem so strange. But the more I think about it the more I realize that she is very typical of a lot of people. She can somehow relate to a pathetic woman who has an incestuous affair that poisons everyone around them, just to get what she wants.... But a woman who embraces her sexuality, and revels in it, and does what she does in the spirit of love and compassion... she can't deal with it.

All intensive purposes?

Seriously?

This is worse than a spelling error!

Another one I saw recently that actually hit my funny bone...co inside. As in, happens at the same time.

I don't know if I can bear to watch anymore :(

First things first:
#1-Rebecca by Daphe De Maurier
#2-Stir of Echoes by Richard Matheson
#3-As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner

I think this year is going to be pretty good. I feel like I am going to progress with my goals and not just talk about them. What a good feeling!

I still have to fight depression...many times When I wake up I have to make myself get out of bed. It helps to have something I need to do. But when my time is open I just don't want to do anything. I fight with myself. Most of the time I win.

My next project is to get photos of all my recent projects.

I just couldn't keep up with my reading list for the year damn it.

Here are a few that I remember, but this is entirely from memory and there are more in the last few months that I just didn't write down.

The Other Boylen Girl - Philippa Gregory
Homebody - Orson Scott Card
The Crimson Petal and the White - Michel Faber
Psuedo-total--45 for the year.

I don't normally do new years resolutions but this is tempting me. I want to keep better track of my book reading. I know I read more books than what I listed here - but I returned them to the library before I wrote them down. I wish the library website would have a "checkout history", that would be perfect.

Right now I am reading a book called Rebecca by Daphe De Maurier--I don't think I will finish it tonight so that book should be #1 on my 2009 list.

Another thing I have been lax about---I have finished quite a few crochet projects and I just haven't bothered to take pictures or even list them.

Lately I finished a doily, made a couple of Xmas stockings at my brother's request (I hate Xmas but I love my brother), a couple of pairs of socks that were Xmas gifts (I hate Xmas but I enjoy giving gifts to a select few), an Eva's shawl that still needs to be blocked, a simple snuggly afghan for my son made from Joanns Rainbow boucle, a couple of scarves for my daughter, a really cute hat for my daughter and a beautiful bookmark for my boss's wife as appreciation for loaning me some very interesting books to read. All of these I didn't take pictures of. Some of them I probably won't be able to as they are with their new owners.

So no new years resolutions but I have come to terms with a few unresolved issues in my life and am ready to move on. It really is just a coincidence that it is also the new year. I have slowly been realizing things about myself and it has helped to decide what course I want to take.

I have lost a few pounds recently...during the holidays I did eat more than I wanted to but I have managed to stay the same weight (give or take) and I am back on track. I feel really good about my weight loss, I am just steadily doing my thing and am seeing results. If I fall off the wagon and eat some chocolate or something, I just go right back to my routine and don't let it completely derail me.

I don't feel any older!

This is a quote from the card my son gave me today" "You are a very weird person because every year you seem to get younger but also wiser"

I love that! He is only 12. That was such a wonderful thing to read. I turned 44 today. So far, I am satisfied with how I am aging. I have very few grays. There is a small patch in the back but they are underneath the top layer of hair so they only show up if I put part of my hair up. I did notice about 5 last night, interspersed throughout the front but I just plucked those suckers out :)

And I have been pretty dilligent with skin care so my face is relatively unlined. I just need to lose about 15 pounds and I think I would look pretty darn good actually.

Once my grays are bugging me, I am looking forward to dying my hair a different color... I know I could do it any time I want to but I have always liked my hair and how healthy and shiny it is. So that is why I have been waiting until I need to cover up any gray hair.

OK this was a complete vanity post, but hey, I can be vain in my own LJ, damnit!

No matter how many things I mark off of my TO DO list, it just keeps growing! It gets depressing. Sometimes I just say "FUCK IT" and I don't do anything because I am so tired of all the things I need to do. And then they pile up even higher and that's when I get depressed.

Like right now. I need to get up and make some Albondigas Soup. If I don't do it tonight it's going to throw off everything else. But I Just Don't Want To Do It!!!

Boo on me. I lost track of the books I have been reading, so I am going to list the ones I remember, and I know there are more, so my count will be a bit lower than it really is. But oh well.


Books:
Pillars of the Earth - Ken Follet
World Without End - Ken Follet
Lord of the Rings Trilogy (counts as 3)
Strangers In Death - J D Robb
Good Old Fashioned Future-scifi anthology - Bruce Sterling
Total listed 42 for year

So I screwed up my book count for the year. THroughout the year I have not listed probably 5-8 books because I either take the back to the library before I list them or I put them away and they get mixed up with all the other books.

Overall not a bad total so far considering the page count of these books.

I have been deeply engrossed in what has been going on during this election campaign. I haven't been posting my thoughts here but I probably should have, as I have been ranting to anyone who will listen. :shrug:

I am amazed really, that I have the audacity to hope... that maybe we could actually have true change in our country. Me--pessimist of all pessimists. Me--who has called herself a skeptic from the time I learned the word. Yes, me.

Which is pretty scary for me. Because at the same time, in the back of my mind, a little voice has been nagging at me. The voice that says that, there are no real happy endings - contrary to all the books I have read - contrary to the movies I have seen - in the real world - Evil wins.

So in these last couple of days before the election, I am struggling to cling to hope, and waiting to see what direction our country will be going in. Will it be over the cliff that is directly in our path? Or will we veer off at the last minute, perhaps toward a different cliff, but perhaps also, toward a safe path.

I have been trying to keep busy. Nothing worth noting here though. I did finish a cute little doily-ish item, it was meant to be used as a coaster for a little side table I bought to sit next to my recliner so that I could have my drink next to me when I crochet. It came out nice but it is a little big for a coaster but a little small for a doily. Oh well, I like it anyway. I need to take a pic soon.

I am working on a doily right now. From my Ondori crochet book. I am about 1/3 done. It is so pretty. I have also almost completed a wearable called Cut-Away Cardi, but I have stalled out on it because I hate sewing the pieces together. If I sat down and just worked on it it would be done really fast.

Book update:
Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
The Man Who Japed - Philip K Dick
Nine Parts of Desire: The Hidden World of Islamic Women - Geraldine Brooks
Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West- Gregory Maguire
37 for the year

Well I am not impressed with my total. I haven't read nearly as much as I have wanted to. But not bad either really. Some of these books are pretty long (Wicked was excruciating--I didn't really like it and kept expecting it to get better but I should have known it wouldn't--they never do)

And I have several books that I didn't complete that I didn't list here beause I didn't finish them.

I am on a roll :) This is the Pseudo-Kimono, but I modified the bottom part to be like a pullover instead of a wrap around jacket.






I hate this picture because I look high but I don't feel like taking any more pictures. Tough beans - it's my LJ and I can post whatever I want LOL

Anyways, I got some great nylon cord and I am going to try and create a purse out of it. I love this cord.

I have been working on this bag on and off for more than a year. It is very hard to crochet with plastic bags






I am pretty happy with it. I think for my grocery shopping I am going to have to make some lighter weight bags though. If I had to carry several of these to the store they would take up too much room in the cart.

I have been so lazy lately. As soon as I get home from work I just want to veg out until bed time.

Book update:
Survivor-Chuck Palahniuk
The Road-Cormac McCarthy
total for year 33

So I went shoe shopping today and I actually bought 5 pairs of great beautiful shoes!! I actually splurged on myself today. I also bought a few nice pieces of jewelry. It felt good, too!

For the new year, I had decided to have this year be all about me-since I have always put everyone else before me and I felt as if I was slowly disappearing. And I had started to get away from that a little bit. I had to remind myself. So this little shopping trip was a part of that.

I read back a few posts and saw that I let some balls drop in updating my journal. I did finish that pseudo-kimono I was working on. However, I didn't like how bulky it looked because it wrapped around and overlapped-there was too much fabric. And since the pattern called for single crochet in the back loop only it was too stretchy and was not flattering at all. So what I did was frog the entire bottom part. Then crocheted around the upper bodice so that it overlapped and stayed closed-and for the bottom part I am going to do the same stitch but just have it go around once and then sew it closed-it will be a pullover instead of a wraparound sweater. I think it will look much better and will salvage the pattern nicely. This project has taken entirely too long though.

One more book for my book update:
Choke-Chuck Palahniuk
Total for the year: 31